Projects and Ideas

I've been thinking about starting a new project and finally I'm going to stop thinking about doing it and actually do it. I tend to aspire to do things and surround myself with inspiration, but translating it to a tangible has been a struggle because I never know when to start.

I have to ask myself what am I waiting for? I put a lot of pressure on myself with my big ideas and potentially infinite resources (the reason I moved to New York, after all, is for its resources!). I need to just do instead of think, but hopefully I can balance the thinking with the production in a healthy way. 

I am excited for the future but the future is kinda already here, isn't it?

A Girl Moves to Brooklyn

Writing is cathartic for some people, and I used to think that it was for me too but seeing as all I can get myself to write these days are checks and grocery lists I think it's time to make myself flex the muscle on a more regular basis.
So I'm going to say that I am back, and not "hopefully" or "maybe" but for good.
I've been making a lot of changes lately, first and foremost my move to Brooklyn, NY this past May. Getting a full-time job, and finally feeling like I can take care of myself and separating myself from what I was used to for so long all came with the move, and I have proved to myself and my family that I am capable of doing things on my own. It's been hard but rewarding, and I am proud of myself. I've always had a hard time trying not to sell myself short (self deprecation is a habit I'm trying to quit) but I can honestly say that I'm proud of how far I have come and look forward to the future, even though the majority of what I dream about seems so unattainable that I worry I'm never going to make it. But here is to positive outlooks, new scenery, a newfound sense of wholeness and a change in perspective that I so desperately needed.
Keep moving forward.

wants and desires

Here's a list of things that I'd possess if I could afford them.

These incredible earrings 

This sweet pillow

This geo print for my growing collection

Fresh Sugar lip balm in petal

This is fucking awesome

Ann-ya special edition sakura leather pouch

what am i supposed to do

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has weird existential crises every few months (...right?) but this latest one was brought about while having dinner with my oldest friend. Oldest as in we have known each other since kindergarten, not as in living in an old age home. Those friends throw me into an entirely different state of emotional and existential turmoil.

photo of me summer 2012 (?) taken by my friend claire, asbury park, nj

i used to have a car but then i crashed it

I am a sentimental person in that I won't get rid of anything that I have attached sentimental value to (i.e. everything, old birthday cards, pretty tags, and the packaging to my semi-defunct 2004 iPod mini included) so naturally I'm leaving all my old blog content up for sentiment's sake. On the flip side, I think it's been long enough since I've last occupied his space for almost everyone who knew me in my blogger days to have thought I'd skipped town or worse. Fresh start!

 I also happen to do this thing where I follow people who are successful in the things I want to be successful at and completely ignore the fact that they work every day towards that success while I bitch and moan that I haven't gone anywhere with my life since graduation. Gotta put a stop to that. I'm not the type who makes resolutions but I am henceforth going to

-stop making comparisons between myself and people when I'm not working as hard as they are

-get a fucking job 

-write every goddamn day, because thinking about writing doesn't actually cut it these days

photos taken summer 2012 and spring 2013: fairfield, ct and asbury park, nj

peace, bitches 

still here

I'll keep this short; it's been a while, I'll see you soon. 

i can't help it if it's true

Before I forget, I wanted to share some of the things I got for my birthday and Christmas this past year. (Hard to believe that it's already March, is anyone else ding for it to be spring? I most certainly am, and cannot WAIT until warm weather creeps back into my life.)

I got a few more things besides this, but the best has to be this Anthroplogie lace dress I've been wanting forever, and these triple strap black ballet flats from Golden Ponies on etsy that I saw through Fieldguided (favorite blog. everything about this is appealing to me, and makes me want to specify my wardrobe/life to pastels and sailor stripes and cats. and really great bangs. which reminds you i forgot to show you my new hair. damn).

I still need an event for the dress, and I'm terrified of catching the lace on something whenever I even try it on, but the shoes have already gotten some action when the days are a bit less snowy. Pretty cool if you ask me.

I'm compiling a wishlist for spring, so expect to see something up here in the near future!

Begging you to sit for a portrait on the wall

so here it is; i am twenty years old. i don't have much to say, other than i can't believe that it is snowing again and slowly but surely i'm getting sick of winter. so, so done with the whole thing.

i need a fresh start; i've told you this already. so, though it's terribly cliche, i'm cutting and dying my hair this week. nothing too drastic yet. i've wanted to go blonde for years but the colorist doesn't want to damage my hair, so i'm getting highlights. also, though i do love having ridiculously long hair (it's down to my waist now) it's heavy as hell. and completely unmanageable for a girl with no idea how to do anything with it. pity, since only a few years ago i was dying for long hair, but whatever, don't we always want what we don't have?

please excuse the terribly unflattering photo of me with dirty hair and no make up; it was my birthday so i was allowed to be a slob. funny, since i had a birthday dress and all that picked out. of course i ended up wearing my most comfortable thrifted flannel and jeans, stuffing my face at my grandmother's house. a completely acceptable way to celebrate turning 20, i say. i suppose that speaks volumes about the kind of person i really am, doesn't it?

speaking of which, i've started writing in a journal, something i haven't done since i was eight or ten or so. there's something about getting words out on page in ink that has always drawn me to writing, hence the scores of notebooks lying about my room. i have a thing for buying moleskine journals, because i become entranced by the idea of filling them with pages of writing and drawings, but then think that my work isn't good enough so they go unused, and instead i have tens of sticky notes tacked to my walls with ideas and half formed poetry, waiting to be good enough to grace those pages. i'm really an awful english major, haha.

wow, well if you stuck around to read all that, thanks! the dozen roses were a gift from my mom, it's a standing tradition that she gives me roses on my birthday, and i love it. that and having red velvet cake are the two things i can count on each and every birthday. flowers are just what i need to help scare away the awful, deadened feeling winter seems to bring with it. why couldn't i have been born in the summer?

i'll show off the rest of my loot later, when i can get around to photographing it during the daylight hours. can you believe i've been sleeping in until noon almost this whole break? and not going to bed until as late as 5:30 am, mind you. i'm all mixed up.

just a reminder to check out my tumblr on occasion, since that's where i post all that inspires me/ the moods i'm in. it's like a mini peek into my little world. terribly pink if you ask me, but i guess that's what i'm into nowadays. also, i tend to update that way more often than i should.

drink up baby, look at the stars

i'll be keeping this brief as it's 3:30 am here and i'm probably going to sound like a fool if i try to write more than necessary, but i wanted to say happy new year (a week late, of course) and i hope all of your holidays were as warm and full of awesomeness as mine were.

i had a pretty great and simple christmas and then for new years went to new jersey and spent the weekend with one of my best friends from school; my first new years away from home, because i'm an adult! (snl reference? anyone? moving on...) and now, as i'm typing this, i'm realizing that i will be turning 20 in less than two days...something that both frightens me and, well, frightens me.

on one hand, i can't wait to finally be in my twenties and to see how this new decade of my life turns out, but then again i'm kind of terrified to leave my teenage years behind. i feel like the last few years flew by, and i never had chance to appreciate being 15 or 17 or whatever, and now it's gone! it scares the hell out of me how fast time goes.

ok, i better put the mini quarter life crisis away for now, as this 19 year old (holding on to that until the last minute, haha) should really get to sleep before 4 am at least once this week. responsible adult right here.

(ps sorry for the scary ghost that is me in the above photo, it's all i had that resembled and outfit post. for shame.)

next time maybe i'll show you some of the stuff i got for christmas/my birthday? shameless showing off of my possessions, that's what blogging is all about, right?

so much to tell you

photo cred: searching hearts on flickr
has it really been an entire semester? i'm terrified with how fast time has flown by, and so sorry for not keeping up to date here! i have no real excuse, all thing considered, just plain busyness and lack of interesting things to say.
on that note, I think it's time to take this blog in a new direction. Seeing as I don't post as often as I like anyway due to lack of inspiration/photos/etc., i think i should stop trying to post for the sake of getting something up here. i'm going to try to be more deliberate with what i say and show you from now on; after all, i am an english major. incorporating something semi-intelligent into my ramblings is certainly a good thing, right?
also, i'd like to get back into photography, and by that i mean good old 35 mm film stuff. this also could end up making posts few and far between, but jesus it's been far too long since i've even held my camera, and that's a damn shame.
lastly, i think this space needs a facelift. anyone have any suggestions for a new header design? i'm thinking girly with masculine touches...and have no clue how to execute such a thing. but now that i'm off from school for a whole month (!) i'll certainly have enough time to figure it out.
so, if i don't see you, have a wonderful and happy holiday season! check my tumblr for updates and the things that have been keeping my brain alive while i studied for exams in the past few weeks; there are some gems up there that i think need to be printed out and pasted on my walls. new project? quite possibly.

a room of her own

Random rings that I've been wearing, from left: Octopus Me on etsy, forever 21, old American Eagle, estate sale. Below: new bowl and cup from Anthropologie and Starbucks, respectively. I figured that it's about time to show off my new digs, seeing as I'm finally all settled in and back into the swing of things. I had a clear plan in mind when I was getting ready to move in, and that really helped to streamline the process and helped me to get my space too look exactly how I wanted it to.

I knew that, although bigger than last year, my room was going to be relatively small. I also knew that I needed a comfortable living space, so I decided to loft my bed up high and bring in this vintage love seat from home. This has proven to be a great idea, because I'm much more comfortable working in my room now, and I actually utilize all the space that I am given.

As far as closet space goes, I didn't want to make the same mistake as last year of bringing too many clothes and getting frustrated with an imbalanced and overstuffed closet. So, along with a few new key pieces, I updated and simplified my wardrobe to only include those pieces that I knew could work week after week and still be able to change up. I'm working on forming a working wardrobe, and I think I'm much closer to that now.

I organized my desk so that I used the space efficiently, and as far as decorating my wall I took a whole bunch of photographs that I've saved to my pictures folder over the years and printed them out on heavy cream colored card stock. I used sticky tack to put them up, and voila! A cheap and completely unique wall space, which I'm pretty excited about. I think that my wall is my favorite part of the room, because every day I can look at photographs that inspire me artistically and stylistically. I'm really excited to get this year going!

credits: None of the photographs pictured on my wall are mine, they are from many different sources including Etsy, Sarah McNeil, Deerlings.blogspot.com, fashion editorials, and unknown sources. The Polaroids are a set of note cards from Urban Outfitters.

So, how do you decorate your space?

"but you are not even close / to being the field of cornflowers at dusk"

Back to school in the morning. Finally got around to completely hand-making something this summer; behold my new floral tank top. I traced a thrifted tank onto an old sheet, sewed it up, and added that teeny pocket for good measure. Not in love with it, as this truly is my first solo pattern-less project, but it will do for now.
Also, wanted to document just how long my hair has gotten in the past few months, and this is after a good two inches were lopped off last week. I'm seriously considering chopping off another 8 inches and going blond, but I'm scared of what could happen if I don't get the right colorist...so we'll see.

Meet my new leather backpack, leather boots, and thrifted 90s beauty book as well as not thrifted copy of The Selby. I've discovered Goodwill to be thrifted-leather gold; that backpack is just what I've wanted for a long time, and to get moto boots, brown ankle boots, and pointy toed Dingo's in one go? Magical. Also, both that 90s thrifted book and the Selby are awesome, the former for featuring Christina Ricci and Kirsten Dunst as teens, and the latter for providing much needed inspiration for dorm decor. Which will most definitely be interesting this year, and I promise to share once I'm settled in.

farewell, summer

To start, here are a few drawings I've made in the past week or so. Apologies for the awful lighting! My scanner refuses to scan anything too light or in a book, so I'm out of luck for a while.
I actually false-started this post a week ago, so ignore the date up top!

I'm popping in to let you know that I'm still around, but that my laptop (and hence all my photos and inspiration folders) is down for the count and refuses to let me access blogger and Google (but still works for everything else...which is really irritating). So, I hopped on my family's home computer and, though I'm lacking photographs besides these poorly lit shots of a few drawings I've made, I thought I'd share what I've been up to for the past few weeks. First of all, I got to go back to the Gathering of the Vibes music festival for a night, which was a totally different experience than it was last time around. There were way more dead heads, way more people on drugs (amusing and frightening, I have to say), and it was actually a lot more fun to be an observer of everything going on. Also, there was no mud, thank god! Other things I have been up to: hiking, swinging in the hammock, cooking good meals, painting my nails, drawing a ton,reading even more, buying new jeans, falling back in love with pastels (wrong time of year for that but whatever), going to my first ever pro football game (yeah Giants!), watching too many movies, etc. I've been kind of avoiding the whole going back to school thing, and I realized I have less than a week before I move in! That's crazy, and I'm not sure that I'm ready to get back into all that again. I guess I hate feeling trapped at a place, if anyone knows what I mean. So, with me going back soon I'm not sure I can promise a lot of updates for the next month or so until I'm settled, but I do have a lot planned, including an entire blog overhaul, so please stay tuned!

For now, take a glimpse at some of the people that really inspire me this week!

-Sarah McNeil
Her Etsy, her blog, her flickr...I love it all. Adding a print (or two or ten) to me Christmas wish list. I'm so ready to start a Christmas wish list!

-Blushing Ambition

Just started reading her stuff, and it's a bit different from what I usually follow but I like how clean and put together everything is. Also, I love her hair.

-Bree Dentice
Found her shop via Sarah McNeil, and I rally wish I could afford a necklace! Another thing to add to my wish list.

Also, go out and buy/borrow St. Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves, by Karen Russel. I really enjoyed each of the stories, and finished the collection way too fast.

8 difficult questions...

( photo via Rostbiff on flickr)

Sorry for the radio static, I've been having some computer issues (try whole computer virus takeover/crash, possible loss of all my photographs and everything I've written for the past four years...I am so bummed). I'm trying to figure out all the workings of the home computer, and thought I'd drop by and let you know why I've been quiet!

Since I don't have anything on this computer to share (although I have a ton of cool stuff I've thrifted recently to show you, plus a slew of outfits queued up) I thought I'd finally get around to answering the 8 difficult questions that Miss Madeline of Swellegant Ponderings tagged me with a few weeks back! Here goes...

1. What never fails to cheer you up?

If it's nice out, then I'll go sit outside on the lawn and read one of my favorite books, and if it's better to be indoors then I'll sit inside and catch up on my blog reading!

2. If you could live one day of your life over again what would it be?

That's a hard one...I guess I'd relive any day the summer after Sophomore year of high school; I was just discovering my friends then and it all seemed so wonderful to be a part of a group after staying shy for so long!

3. What do you like best about yourself?

I like that I don't feel the need to fill every silence, and that I'm a great listener (so I'm told). I can't understand why some people need to be entertained all the time! Take a breath and chill!

4. What would you change about yourself?

I'd like to be a bit more confident and outgoing, and a little less shy. Blessing and a curse, I suppose.

5. What have you enjoyed most about blogging?

Aside from all the wonderful people out there, and being able to connect with people continents away, /I really love to be able to look back at my life through the blog. It's a lot like a personal diary (although mine looks a lot more like a "this is what I bought today" list! Oh, well.)

6. Who or what is your ultimate source of inspiration?

That's tough... I guess I'd have to say that the use of fabric and texture in the 20s, the drape and fit of the 30s through the 50s, color and cut in the 60s, and free spirited-ness of the 70s all have influenced me at one point. As for a particular person, I think that Kirsten Dunst and Natalie Portman are the bees knees. Lula Magazine is also fantastic. And Nabokov's Lolita. And Atonement, both the book and the film. I cry every time.

7. If you could be anywhere in the world where would you be?

I would sacrifice all spending/ an arm and a leg for the chance to experience the french countryside in the flesh. That or Italy, especially where my grandparents came from.

8. Who would you invite to your ideal dinner party?

The women mentioned above, Sophia Coppola, Jason Schwartzman, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio circa Romeo and Juliet, all of my friends and whomever they choose to bring... and it would be fantastic.

Well, there you are! I also have to tag 8 bloggers,, so if they please, would The Girl in the Paper Dress, Belle Vintage, Buttons and Accordians, Maps and Fragments, Daisy Dayz, Papillon Vintage, Naked Tile, and A plus B in the Sea kindly pass it on!

I pinky swear that as soon as I get everything straightened out I will be back in business. Promise.

the sweetest thing

Oh, how I let time escape me! While I spend my days dreaming up ideas and posts to share with you on this blog, I tend to forget to actually bring these posts into fruition! Shameful!

Well, here I am, alive and well. And I have an outfit post to share as well (though you must excuse the wet hair, I detest blow drying and always let it air dry.) I'm wearing vintage dead stock 70s clogs, old H&M belt, and I just bought this dress (which is much more pink in real life) from Forever 21, and have worn it consistently. New favorite dress! Now, if only I could whip up several more dresses like this, I'd be set! Speaking of sewing, I wanted to share the dress I made as a part of my senior project last year, in which I source vintage and thrifted materials and built a line of skirts as well as this single dress for me. It's also much more pink in real life, and shiny. The dress is really special because I worked on it with my Grandmother, who is the driving force behind my interest in dressmaking and sewing, as she was a dressmaker for Hattie Carnegie in New York before she was married! She is a really talented lady, and I'm proud to have her as a Grandmother. I really hope to make more dresses with her in the future, maybe more easy to wear pieces. This dress in particular is something I'd rather wear to a special occasion, so it hangs on my closet door waiting.
And finally, I wanted to show you the sweet cake stand type jar and base I thrifted a few weeks back, which now houses one of the little collections of things that make me happy in my room, including that amazing vintage beaded collar necklace I got at that funny little flea market I mentioned last post. Also pictured is the beautiful vintage 50s party dress I bought at that flea market, which I can hardly believe I was fortunate enough to find, and it fits! I think this dress is destined for the President's Ball (a glorified high school type gropefest) that my University hosts in September, although it may be a bit too...sophisticated...for such a thing. Well, I don't really care, as long as I get to wear this dress somewhere!

P.S. does the lighting and location of the dress shots do the objects justice? I was getting tired of the crazy colors photographing all my finds on grass gave me. I was hoping to set up an Etsy really, really soon, and lack space to photograph the goods. Hopefully this space will work!