Begging you to sit for a portrait on the wall

so here it is; i am twenty years old. i don't have much to say, other than i can't believe that it is snowing again and slowly but surely i'm getting sick of winter. so, so done with the whole thing.
i need a fresh start; i've told you this already. so, though it's terribly cliche, i'm cutting and dying my hair this week. nothing too drastic yet. i've wanted to go blonde for years but the colorist doesn't want to damage my hair, so i'm getting highlights. also, though i do love having ridiculously long hair (it's down to my waist now) it's heavy as hell. and completely unmanageable for a girl with no idea how to do anything with it. pity, since only a few years ago i was dying for long hair, but whatever, don't we always want what we don't have?
please excuse the terribly unflattering photo of me with dirty hair and no make up; it was my birthday so i was allowed to be a slob. funny, since i had a birthday dress and all that picked out. of course i ended up wearing my most comfortable thrifted flannel and jeans, stuffing my face at my grandmother's house. a completely acceptable way to celebrate turning 20, i say. i suppose that speaks volumes about the kind of person i really am, doesn't it?
speaking of which, i've started writing in a journal, something i haven't done since i was eight or ten or so. there's something about getting words out on page in ink that has always drawn me to writing, hence the scores of notebooks lying about my room. i have a thing for buying moleskine journals, because i become entranced by the idea of filling them with pages of writing and drawings, but then think that my work isn't good enough so they go unused, and instead i have tens of sticky notes tacked to my walls with ideas and half formed poetry, waiting to be good enough to grace those pages. i'm really an awful english major, haha.
wow, well if you stuck around to read all that, thanks! the dozen roses were a gift from my mom, it's a standing tradition that she gives me roses on my birthday, and i love it. that and having red velvet cake are the two things i can count on each and every birthday. flowers are just what i need to help scare away the awful, deadened feeling winter seems to bring with it. why couldn't i have been born in the summer?
i'll show off the rest of my loot later, when i can get around to photographing it during the daylight hours. can you believe i've been sleeping in until noon almost this whole break? and not going to bed until as late as 5:30 am, mind you. i'm all mixed up.
just a reminder to check out my tumblr on occasion, since that's where i post all that inspires me/ the moods i'm in. it's like a mini peek into my little world. terribly pink if you ask me, but i guess that's what i'm into nowadays. also, i tend to update that way more often than i should.


drink up baby, look at the stars

i'll be keeping this brief as it's 3:30 am here and i'm probably going to sound like a fool if i try to write more than necessary, but i wanted to say happy new year (a week late, of course) and i hope all of your holidays were as warm and full of awesomeness as mine were.
i had a pretty great and simple christmas and then for new years went to new jersey and spent the weekend with one of my best friends from school; my first new years away from home, because i'm an adult! (snl reference? anyone? moving on...) and now, as i'm typing this, i'm realizing that i will be turning 20 in less than two days...something that both frightens me and, well, frightens me.
on one hand, i can't wait to finally be in my twenties and to see how this new decade of my life turns out, but then again i'm kind of terrified to leave my teenage years behind. i feel like the last few years flew by, and i never had chance to appreciate being 15 or 17 or whatever, and now it's gone! it scares the hell out of me how fast time goes.
ok, i better put the mini quarter life crisis away for now, as this 19 year old (holding on to that until the last minute, haha) should really get to sleep before 4 am at least once this week. responsible adult right here.
(ps sorry for the scary ghost that is me in the above photo, it's all i had that resembled and outfit post. for shame.)
next time maybe i'll show you some of the stuff i got for christmas/my birthday? shameless showing off of my possessions, that's what blogging is all about, right?