Projects and Ideas

I've been thinking about starting a new project and finally I'm going to stop thinking about doing it and actually do it. I tend to aspire to do things and surround myself with inspiration, but translating it to a tangible has been a struggle because I never know when to start.

I have to ask myself what am I waiting for? I put a lot of pressure on myself with my big ideas and potentially infinite resources (the reason I moved to New York, after all, is for its resources!). I need to just do instead of think, but hopefully I can balance the thinking with the production in a healthy way. 

I am excited for the future but the future is kinda already here, isn't it?


A Girl Moves to Brooklyn

Writing is cathartic for some people, and I used to think that it was for me too but seeing as all I can get myself to write these days are checks and grocery lists I think it's time to make myself flex the muscle on a more regular basis.
So I'm going to say that I am back, and not "hopefully" or "maybe" but for good.
I've been making a lot of changes lately, first and foremost my move to Brooklyn, NY this past May. Getting a full-time job, and finally feeling like I can take care of myself and separating myself from what I was used to for so long all came with the move, and I have proved to myself and my family that I am capable of doing things on my own. It's been hard but rewarding, and I am proud of myself. I've always had a hard time trying not to sell myself short (self deprecation is a habit I'm trying to quit) but I can honestly say that I'm proud of how far I have come and look forward to the future, even though the majority of what I dream about seems so unattainable that I worry I'm never going to make it. But here is to positive outlooks, new scenery, a newfound sense of wholeness and a change in perspective that I so desperately needed.
Keep moving forward.


what am i supposed to do

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has weird existential crises every few months (...right?) but this latest one was brought about while having dinner with my oldest friend. Oldest as in we have known each other since kindergarten, not as in living in an old age home. Those friends throw me into an entirely different state of emotional and existential turmoil.
photo of me summer 2012 (?) taken by my friend claire, asbury park, nj


i used to have a car but then i crashed it

I am a sentimental person in that I won't get rid of anything that I have attached sentimental value to (i.e. everything, old birthday cards, pretty tags, and the packaging to my semi-defunct 2004 iPod mini included) so naturally I'm leaving all my old blog content up for sentiment's sake. On the flip side, I think it's been long enough since I've last occupied his space for almost everyone who knew me in my blogger days to have thought I'd skipped town or worse. Fresh start!

 I also happen to do this thing where I follow people who are successful in the things I want to be successful at and completely ignore the fact that they work every day towards that success while I bitch and moan that I haven't gone anywhere with my life since graduation. Gotta put a stop to that. I'm not the type who makes resolutions but I am henceforth going to

-stop making comparisons between myself and people when I'm not working as hard as they are
-get a fucking job 
-write every goddamn day, because thinking about writing doesn't actually cut it these days
photos taken summer 2012 and spring 2013: fairfield, ct and asbury park, nj

peace, bitches