Begging you to sit for a portrait on the wall

so here it is; i am twenty years old. i don't have much to say, other than i can't believe that it is snowing again and slowly but surely i'm getting sick of winter. so, so done with the whole thing.

i need a fresh start; i've told you this already. so, though it's terribly cliche, i'm cutting and dying my hair this week. nothing too drastic yet. i've wanted to go blonde for years but the colorist doesn't want to damage my hair, so i'm getting highlights. also, though i do love having ridiculously long hair (it's down to my waist now) it's heavy as hell. and completely unmanageable for a girl with no idea how to do anything with it. pity, since only a few years ago i was dying for long hair, but whatever, don't we always want what we don't have?

please excuse the terribly unflattering photo of me with dirty hair and no make up; it was my birthday so i was allowed to be a slob. funny, since i had a birthday dress and all that picked out. of course i ended up wearing my most comfortable thrifted flannel and jeans, stuffing my face at my grandmother's house. a completely acceptable way to celebrate turning 20, i say. i suppose that speaks volumes about the kind of person i really am, doesn't it?

speaking of which, i've started writing in a journal, something i haven't done since i was eight or ten or so. there's something about getting words out on page in ink that has always drawn me to writing, hence the scores of notebooks lying about my room. i have a thing for buying moleskine journals, because i become entranced by the idea of filling them with pages of writing and drawings, but then think that my work isn't good enough so they go unused, and instead i have tens of sticky notes tacked to my walls with ideas and half formed poetry, waiting to be good enough to grace those pages. i'm really an awful english major, haha.

wow, well if you stuck around to read all that, thanks! the dozen roses were a gift from my mom, it's a standing tradition that she gives me roses on my birthday, and i love it. that and having red velvet cake are the two things i can count on each and every birthday. flowers are just what i need to help scare away the awful, deadened feeling winter seems to bring with it. why couldn't i have been born in the summer?

i'll show off the rest of my loot later, when i can get around to photographing it during the daylight hours. can you believe i've been sleeping in until noon almost this whole break? and not going to bed until as late as 5:30 am, mind you. i'm all mixed up.

just a reminder to check out my tumblr on occasion, since that's where i post all that inspires me/ the moods i'm in. it's like a mini peek into my little world. terribly pink if you ask me, but i guess that's what i'm into nowadays. also, i tend to update that way more often than i should.